June 8 2019
Written in 2022:
Coincidentally, my mother called me the next day and I exploded. She tried to blame it on my meds, but the nightmare still rang in my head and I just let out everything I had pent up over the years. Punched and slapped and ridiculed and not being enough and then being too much and living a life where even a miscalculated look could earn me a smack? She didn’t want to look at what she did. And she often denied it. I didn’t have the stomach to pretend it didn’t happen nor the temper to tolerate anything… so. I cut her out.
I still haven’t talked to her, and this is one of those things I do not regret even an ounce to this day.