July 14 2019
Written in 2022:
Desperate to try to escape the pain of it, I started to think about an old flame from when I was a kid. We worked together to sort of cover up his existence and I ended up writing his character a bunch in a story with another friend. I wasn’t supposed to be friends with people online, so we had to make sure he was secret, and when I hurt him the last time, he made sure to erase himself from my life. It was like karmic justice and I just sat and pined after the person who I felt valued me in all the ways I wanted to be valued at the time. He was one of the people who suffered from my hyperfocus on his whole being and I still think fondly of him. I hope he’s doing okay and found a good partner.