Oct 23 2019
Written in 2022:
I ultimately decided to break up with my exes… but this wasn’t that time. This just made things rougher. I wanted to separate myself from them intensely, but I couldn’t get away. I was looking for work, looking for a place, being told that I should just stay, it’s fine, we’re family… I have the discussion alone with the ex-wife and not the ex-partner, who was mad because they weren’t there when I broke the news of breaking up with them. “I should have been part of that decision,” they said. “It’s not fair that I wasn’t.”
But breaking up is my decision. I needed to extricate myself from them. I was hurting, constantly! And even if executed badly, the decision was made, and it was met with a smile on the ex-wife’s part. I never understood why she seemed so okay. But what did I want? Anger? Resentment? Some outward expression of the shit she was putting me through? It felt like I was a creature in a tar pit, struggling to get out…