Please Don’t Feed the Bears: A Heavy Metal Vegan Cookbook

by

Asbjorn Intonsus

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Learn to cook a range of brutally tasty yet simple plant-based dishes, accompanied by heavy metal and punk lyrics, art, and ethos. This vegan cookbook is jam packed with recipes for stews, soups, sauces, noodle & bean dishes, baked entrees, and desserts, interspersed with illustrations of adorable armed animals, meditations on suicide, a crossword puzzle, and instructions for DIY tattoo guns. Expand your cooking repertoire with recipes from around the world, including Grizzly Bear Gnocchi, Taco Thrash-erole, Misery Wot, Gotterdamerung Dopple-Chocolate Cookies, and Hair of an Angel Knotted by the Persistance of a Mortal. Each recipe is paired with a metal song to listen to while you cook. Based on a series of long-obscure 1990s zines, this underground classic is now in its third edition, bringing you practical, animal-free cooking skills that will soothe your justified despair at the bloodthirstiness and futility of human nature.

In the middle of the cookbook is an anecdote about when the author saw a women’s corpse and it’s so visceral to me that the whiplash of a recipe under it is like bro, you’re not okay (undeniably at writing, bro was not okay). (it says so in the prologue that bro was not okay)

there’s a dream the author has of dying in a bear attack. I thought it was an anecdote from a real suvivor’s experience but it was just a horrible nightmare.

I remember these levels of depression.

The cookbook is a real zine. There’s quotes. Pictures. Friend’s recipes. Anecdotes. An interview with a band. Instructions on assembling a homemade tattoo machine.

It’s rich with what I need— easy veggie-rich recipes. And what I wasn’t expecting: inspiration. Introspection. A third thing to round out the list of “i” words.

I didn’t think I would have to put trigger warnings on a cookbook but here we are.

Welcome to the Menagerie.

Here is where M logs their media activity. Partly because Goodreads is forgettable and keeping physical logs is harder. Sometimes M writes a lot. Sometimes M doesn’t write enough. It doesn’t matter. This is just a for-fun little blog so that M can remember what they thought about whatever they watched or read or played or. Whatever.


What is M?

I read. Voraciously. I have subscriptions to those book things on digital retailers. I consume books at nearly all hours. The hours I don’t spend reading? I’m writing. I’m drawing. I have a problem. I have a problem in that I love to read things that are in the same vein repeatedly. Book journals don’t work and as much as I text my friends screenshots of book passages, it doesn’t scratch the itch. Now I’m going to be doing… tiny… tiny book reports.


Truck-Kun Kill Count:


Books & Light Novels Read in 2025: 38/50
76%
Comics Read in 2026: 221/200
100%
Physical Owned Books Read: 460/823
56%


Menagerie Categories


Tagged in the Menagerie

Absolute Asshole NPC (121) Accidentally in Charge (63) A Fetish For Suffering (69) Can't Say No (111) Chekov's Gun (64) Conveniently Cut-Off (57) Curiosity Fucks You Up (94) Cursed (87) Damsel in Distress (85) Damsel in Distress (subverted) (118) Dangerous Reputation (122) Doting Husband (82) Double Identity (59) Everyone Loves MC (113) Evil Eyes & Big Heart (57) Fan Service (123) Grumpy x Sunshine (64) Hypercompetent MC (94) If You Love Them, Set Them Free (67) I Know a Guy (79) Last Minute Hero (132) Loss of Humanity (64) Main Character Coloring (101) MC's Skewed Metrics (102) Mean Boy (146) Mean Boy Love Interest (61) Modern Morals (62) Nat 20s (119) Not Actually Dead (102) Nuclear Revenge (90) OP Protag (104) Power of Friendship (98) Power of Love (92) Self-Sacrifice (85) Shock Value (65) Sympathetic Evil (86) The Moral is Community (82) Tragic Backstory (104) Twist! (67) Uniquely Skilled (108) Unreliable Narrator (61) Weird and Wacky On Purpose (104) Western-Style Fantasy (116) Wrong Place Wrong Time (78) Zero to Hero (110)


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