Agnes, We’re Not Murderers!

by

Jessica Alexander

Rating:
Genre: , ,

Queer Rep:

i am told there are lesbians

Disability Rep:


Lesbian vixens from another dead world thread through moon-drenched cornfields and opulent drawing rooms in this literary horror remix of iconic gothic sagas.

Agnes is wasting away. In a bed of velvet and silk, she dreams of death—and Mary.

Mary—a wraith with bloodstained gown and mouth—drips mystery and menace. She materializes beside a lake, beneath a pear tree, outside the window. She turns servants feral and plunges the manor into anarchy. Since her arrival, nothing is right. The maids snarl. The nights grow strange. Agnes swoons.

Her brother, Arthur, calls it a sickness. A curse. He stalks the halls with scissors in his fist. He wants purity and order. He’ll strike out the unintelligible. He is not the only one. Others have begun to stir—jilted lovers, disgraced doctors, moralists with sharpened knives. The disorder is spreading. It’s riotous. Contagious. They’ll purify the world in flame.

Written partially through footnotes and with a mystery of interwoven red text, Agnes, We’re Not Murderers! is an atmospheric gothic vampire journey for fans of Kathe Koja and Mark Z. Danielewski.

The concept is cool but I found it overly distracting already by the first story. I’m not a stranger to highlighted words or secondary stories in footnotes. I am frustrated by being told to turn to X page to know X constantly.(1)

There’s a weird flow to the writing, as if the writer themself were a bit distracted by the footnotes as well. It feels weird to read. Not altogether there. I wasn’t a fan and I gave it up by the end of chapter one, which by the way began on page 18, unlabeled.

(1) I am the type to always mind a footnote and a directive. the footnotes often led to another footnote and another direction to flip to another page. I was frustrated as I flipped and flipped and flipped through the entire book per the footnotes directions. “I’m still in the first story! Let me read!”

Welcome to the Menagerie.

Here is where M logs their media activity. Partly because Goodreads is forgettable and keeping physical logs is harder. Sometimes M writes a lot. Sometimes M doesn’t write enough. It doesn’t matter. This is just a for-fun little blog so that M can remember what they thought about whatever they watched or read or played or. Whatever.


What is M?

I read. Voraciously. I have subscriptions to those book things on digital retailers. I consume books at nearly all hours. The hours I don’t spend reading? I’m writing. I’m drawing. I have a problem. I have a problem in that I love to read things that are in the same vein repeatedly. Book journals don’t work and as much as I text my friends screenshots of book passages, it doesn’t scratch the itch. Now I’m going to be doing… tiny… tiny book reports.


Truck-Kun Kill Count:


Books & Light Novels Read in 2025: 40/50
80%
Comics Read in 2026: 222/200
100%
Physical Owned Books Read: 460/823
56%


Menagerie Categories


Tagged in the Menagerie

Absolute Asshole NPC (126) Accidentally in Charge (65) A Fetish For Suffering (71) Can't Say No (115) Chekov's Gun (66) Conveniently Cut-Off (58) Curiosity Fucks You Up (98) Cursed (88) Damsel in Distress (87) Damsel in Distress (subverted) (122) Dangerous Reputation (125) Doting Husband (84) Double Identity (61) Everyone Loves MC (114) Evil Eyes & Big Heart (58) Fan Service (125) Grumpy x Sunshine (65) Hypercompetent MC (95) If You Love Them, Set Them Free (68) I Know a Guy (82) Last Minute Hero (136) Loss of Humanity (64) Main Character Coloring (102) MC's Skewed Metrics (104) Mean Boy (146) Mean Boy Love Interest (62) Modern Morals (64) Nat 20s (121) Not Actually Dead (103) Nuclear Revenge (91) OP Protag (105) Power of Friendship (100) Power of Love (95) Self-Sacrifice (86) Shock Value (67) Sympathetic Evil (88) The Moral is Community (83) Tragic Backstory (107) Twist! (69) Uniquely Skilled (110) Unreliable Narrator (62) Weird and Wacky On Purpose (106) Western-Style Fantasy (117) Wrong Place Wrong Time (78) Zero to Hero (112)


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