A deliciously witty and inspiring memoir by One Tree Hill star Bethany Joy Lenz about her decade in a cult and her quest to break free.
In the early 2000s, after years of hard work and determination to breakthrough as an actor, Bethany Joy Lenz was finally cast as one of the leads on the hit drama One Tree Hill. Her career was about to take off, but her personal life was slowly beginning to unravel. What none of the show’s millions of fans knew, hidden even from her costars, was her secret double life in a cult.
An only child who often had to fend for herself and always wanted a place to belong, Lenz found the safe haven she’d been searching for in a Bible study group with other Hollywood creatives. However, the group soon morphed into something more sinister—a slowly woven web of manipulation, abuse, and fear under the guise of a church covenant called The Big House Family. Piece by piece, Lenz began to give away her autonomy, ultimately relocating to the Family’s Pacific Northwest compound, overseen by a domineering minister who would convince Lenz to marry one of his sons and steadily drained millions of her TV income without her knowledge. Family “minders” assigned to her on set, “Maoist struggle session”–inspired meetings in the basement of a filthy house, and regular counseling with “Leadership” were just part of the tactics used to keep her loyal.
Only when she became a mother did Lenz find the courage to leave and spare her child from a similar fate. After nearly a decade (and with the unlikely help of a One Tree Hill superfan), she finally managed to escape the family’s grip and begin to heal from the deep trauma that forever altered her relationship with God and her understanding of faith. Written with powerful honesty and dark humor, Dinner for Vampires is an inspiring story about the importance of identity and understanding what you believe.
Y’all, it took me longer than expected to read this. At first I borrowed the book itself but I was having a hard time moving along, so I borrowed the audiobook next and even while listening at my usual 1.25x speed, I STILL took a while to read it.
why?
Because I got triggered, bro! Her experience is so, so universal for people falling into cultic situations. They find a group of like-minded people, find love and acceptance, or what seems like it, and then slowly get winched in by the demands of the environment and the groupthink. My own experience was much, much smaller but affected me in a lot of the same ways, to the point where I cried three times while listening.
I ended up turning it off every time to watch some YouTube (Eddy Burback’s Margaritaville tour to start, then the mountain of stuff that entwined into it).
Her reading of her own words did add a lot to the book, actually. It was expressive, heart-wrenching, and you could hear her relive some moments and just— it was rough. I keep reading these sorts of books because I suppose it’s like holding someone’s hand and knowing I’m not alone in my experience. Even if my experience was different, it still… resonates.
It’s hard but I’m happy that she moved forward. I’m so happy that she was able to keep her daughter. I’m so happy that she was able to speak. I’m so happy that through the book, she could make it clear her feelings and the sort of people that did what they did. She has a clear and emotional writing style that speaks well even on its own.
I ended up recommending it to Karen because I think she would actually enjoy it, but it IS a rough read.
