*Once upon a time, Andrew had cut out his heart and given it to this boy, and he was very sure Thomas had no idea that Andrew would do anything for him. Protect him. Lie for him.
Kill for him.*
High school senior Andrew Perrault finds refuge in the twisted fairytales that he writes for the only person who can ground him to reality—Thomas Rye, the boy with perpetually ink-stained hands and hair like autumn leaves. And with his twin sister, Dove, inexplicably keeping him at a cold distance upon their return to Wickwood Academy, Andrew finds himself leaning on his friend even more.
But something strange is going on with Thomas. His abusive parents have mysteriously vanished, and he arrives at school with blood on his sleeve. Thomas won’t say a word about it, and shuts down whenever Andrew tries to ask him questions. Stranger still, Thomas is haunted by something, and he seems to have lost interest in his artwork—whimsically macabre sketches of the monsters from Andrew’s wicked stories.
Desperate to figure out what’s wrong with his friend, Andrew follows Thomas into the off-limits forest one night and catches him fighting a nightmarish monster—Thomas’s drawings have come to life and are killing anyone close to him. To make sure no one else dies, the boys battle the monsters every night. But as their obsession with each other grows stronger, so do the monsters, and Andrew begins to fear that the only way to stop the creatures might be to destroy their creator…
Mmm, I love my books to be the sort that describes a codependent and obsessive love with words akin to “a wish to crawl inside his ribcage and live there”.
It’s a lovingly torturous read that feels like a fairy tale, with vivid and grim settings splattered all over. The main characters are self-flagellants in nature and both believe themselves to be monsters, and my god, they’re such teens. I love teenage angst. I love to spoon feed emotional torment into my mouth.
The little things did annoy me, but in that way where I don’t mind that I’m annoyed, I’m just sitting there desperately rooting for the characters and knowing that this is not going to turn out well. The characters could benefit from communicating, but of course, one can’t communicate when it would solve the plot so easily. And it feels like it’s a reasonably delicate topic.
I did predict the twists, unfortunately— however, when I went to go see what others were saying, I did notice that a lot of people didn’t see it coming (!!). I think perhaps it depends on the genre savvy of the reader, but there are multiple twists.
- Dove. That one was the more obvious one that I picked up fairly early on. You never see her with anyone else, and people appear confused when Andrew speaks of her.
- The monsters aren’t caused by Thomas’ art, but by Andrew’s writing. I began to suspect this about halfway through when Thomas doesn’t recognize the being attacking them, which, coupled with the fact that only Andrew can kill the beasts, well… it also makes it clear early on that it has depended very much on Andrew’s struggles.
I am fascinated with the sexual, the grieving, and struggling symbolism— many of the monsters are penetrative in some way.
- The first appearance for Andrew is a mirage of sorts, the illusion of Thomas approaching and first kissing, then licking Andrew’s neck, mirroring his fear of things going beyond his boundaries regarding physical intimacy. He’s frightened Thomas will demand more of him than he could offer.
- The second appearance is in the bathroom, when Andrew is staring into a mirror and seeing himself (his sister). He’s bleeding, he’s scared, he needs his sister to come and save him. Her appearance coincides with the disappearance of the first beast, where she comforts him and quickly leaves him behind.
- The beasts tend to lurk around where Andrew has some lingering fear or guilt. The rose bushes where he hid Thomas’s bloody shirt. The place where he was sneaking out to catch up with Thomas, alone, feeling strange without his sister.
- The forest is filled with the terrors, and Andrew is filled with the forest.
- Whenever he and Thomas are having a disagreement, the intensity of the next attack is in proportion to the disquiet it causes Andrew.
- Anyone who Andrew has wished harm, even in passing, suffers from his monsters. Thomas’ parents are killed for abusing Thomas. Clemens, the asshole teacher, is killed for cornering Andrew. Bryce has undone the tenuous peace that Andrew found and is killed. And Thomas, the one that Andrew has quietly blamed for his sister, is harangued and tortured.
- Many of the beasts have a component that reflect Andrew’s struggles in the relationship with Thomas. The vines, for instance, restrain and then penetrate Andrew, leaving a literal seed inside of him that changes him entirely. The fairies pierce and dig, penetrating both boys. Thomas is penetrated in the stomach by another beast, causing a strange sort of harm that leaves a gaping hole inside of him that does not bleed. And then the bone shrikes demand secrets to be told.
Honestly, the beasts are reflections of Andrew in his rawest form.
The ending is left ambiguous, leaving the reader questioning the reality of the story. I saw a lot of people wondering what the end meant, what happened, needing something to cling onto. My own interpretation of it is purely self-serving: it worked. Everything is over. They’re both dead together under that tree but they’re happy together at last. And Dove will find them and they’ll be together forever.
This is probably not what happened. Or maybe it did. Who am I to say? That’s what Ao3 is for.
Tropes added because of this book:
- Conveniently Cut-Off
- Ambiguous Ending
